april update

April has flown by before i even knew it, and we've stepped into May without me realising how quickly and how much has happened in this 30day month. today, a friend commented that i haven't been blogging, and it's true. it's not that nothing much has happened, hence nothing to blog about. rather, too much has happened, and i've not had much time nor energy to blog. and due to the fact that i've been busy 20hours a day, being sleep and food deprived, and having to do a million things all at once, upkeeping my blog seemed nowhere on my super long to-do-list, in my non-existant life-of-my-own.

only my closest friends have the slightest idea as to what is happening with me right now. and it is at moments like this that i thank god that msn was invented. if not, i'd have no friends at all. but having said that, time with them is still really limited and i've ended up with no outlet at all. and the people around me who are aware, cuz basically we're in the same shit, are unable to do what i do, hence are either incapable or not bothering to understand my predicament and i'm left frustrated and emotionally-starved of affection.

sometimes i feel that the old saying that misfortunes come in packs is so true. i'm amazed at the amount of bad news we've received in this month alone. and the scale of crisis situations needed to solve. and the amount of shit we're expected to clear. and yet, drained as i am, i'm in a twisted way proud to say "i'm still alive!" i've done things i never thought i could do. i've superceded all expectations and continue to surprise myself daily. well yes it's disheartening to be in such a mess, but it's also kinda a confidence builder to be able to climb out of this shit hole.

i've learnt a lot about myself and those around me. in "the little princess", there was a moment when she was most down and so trodden, and she confessed to a friend that "adversity tries people" - yes it's awful to see the really ugly side of human nature, and it shocks me how vile humans can really be. but yet in times of such disaster, i learnt to be thankful and aware of those around that steadfast, loyal and true. perhaps we need to really appreciate them a lot more. even little candles put together can form a pretty strong ray of hope and shoot forth a beam of light enough to brighten the darkest hours.

so tonite, i shall put together a series of random blogs, all inspired by this wonderfully tragic month of april. happy reading folks!~