sailor's disease

i think i've got scurvy.
ew...

*gulps vit c*

total eclipse of the heart

Turnaround, every now and then I get a
little bit lonely and you're never coming around
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit terrified and then I see the look in your eyes
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart

Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit restless and I dream of something wild
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit helpless and I'm lying like a child in your arms
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit angry and I know I've got to get out and cry
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a
little bit terrified but then I see the look in your eyes
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart

And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart

Turnaround bright eyes
Turnaround bright eyes
Turnaround, every now and then I know
you'll never be the boy you always you wanted to be
Turnaround, every now and then I know
you'll always be the only boy who wanted me the way that I am
Turnaround, every now and then I know
there's no one in the universe as magical and wonderous as you
Turnaround, every now and then I know
there's nothing any better and there's nothing I just wouldn't do
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and
then I fall apart

And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
And if you'll only hold me tight
We'll be holding on forever
And we'll only be making it right
Cause we'll never be wrong together
We can take it to the end of the line
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart

presents from SH

recently mom and aunties and grandma went to shanghai for a weekend holiday. well, it's more a full fledged shopping spree madness. thank you all for the lovely presents! =)

drink milk

my paternal grandma was sitting on a chair and slipped from the chair to the floor. turns out it broke her hip from the side till femur. moral of the story? please start encouraging everyone around you to have a healthy intake of calcium and guard against osteoperosis.

sunday nite supper

dear and i are having a bowl of yummy instant noodles together... way past midnight, at supper hour. mmm... yes yes, we've both cooked a sumptuous bowl each, and sat down in front of our computers, in our respective homes, and are now both eating while i type this. and yes, all this time, on msn with each other =) that's what dears are for! *yummy*

please help!

http://www.nextstop.com/challenge/JLBDxxhSsWs/my-favorite-places-in-singapore-city/?utm_source=facebook&utm_campaign=contest-JLBDxxhSsWs&utm_medium=display

this is so great! please help everyone!

2min rant

i have no time to talk to my friends.
i have no time to go shopping.
i have no time to call my mom.
i have no time to visit grandma.
i have no time to eat.
i have no time to pee.
i have no time even to have a good cry, which i desperately need.
i have no time to waste.
i have no time for others to waste with their stupid games.
i have no time to sleep.
i have no time to put up with nonsense.
i have no time to get myself something nice.
i have no time to do something relaxing.
i have no time to reply to all 100s of mails i get.
i have no time to finish all this work.
i have no time to make a cuppa instant coffee.
i have no time to consider my own feelings.
i have no time for me.

i only blogged here cuz i'm at the verge of going crazy.
*sigh*
yes it's been 2 min.
i gtg.

just another one of those days...

a typical april day:

0800 - alarm clock rings
0805 - alarm clock snoozes
0810 - 2nd alarm clock rings
0815 - 2nd alarm clock snoozes
0820 - more ringing
0830 - both clocks reach snooze limit

0930 - awake in shock. OMFG. i'm late. AGAIN!
0945 - out from shower. yes. shampoo. condition. soap. scrub. eye wash.
1000 - pack bag
1030 - finish make up and dressing
1040 - dash out of house, grab a cab, beg taxi uncle to drive as fast as he possibly can
1045 - check email in cab. start downloading. and replying. to all 100 of them.

1100 - reach office. feels guilty for being late. yet again.
1115 - switch on office computer. plug in laptop.
1130 - steaming tea/coffee on table - all set for work

work work work...

1430 - operations team start checking in
1500 - meetings begin

meetings meetings meetings...

1900 - settled everyone. back to desk
1915 - operations team is hungry. guys go out to dinner.
2000 - everyone back from dinner, packed food back for me.
2015 - eat at desk while continuing never ending work

work work work

0430 - *hungry* looks up and OMFG! so late liao!
0445 - supper
0530 - head home
0545 - change. shower. wash off make up.
0600 - stumbles in bed, zonk off to sleep.

a story

once upon a time, 2 people started a partnership together. stupid takes higher profit percentage but bears all costs of operating, cheat being less experienced takes lesser percentage but without any responsibilities of upkeep.

stupid taught cheat everything he knew and the business thrived. there started to be differences and disagreements occurred. but stupid thot cheat would never betray him because profit-sharing principle motivates both partners for a common purpose. stupid entrusts all things to cheat, especially in terms of company finances.

cheat convinces stupid to do many things, all business related he says, for the betterment of the company. stupid consents. overheads become higher. the company grows bigger. they seem to be doing well. stupid is content.

cheat makes away with lots of money, undetected, and leaves the trusting stupid high, dry and stranded. stupid cannot believe himself. he blames cheat for being the cause of the distress. cheat asks for more money and full ownership. stupid refuses. cheat runs off.

life's little lessons...

amidst these recent happenings, i've really discovered many things, good and bad, and i think i've grown wiser but more jaded. life's, always a balance huh? this is just another one of my midnight psycho-babble i guess.


caffeine kick starts my days. without it, i stone in front of the computer and am much less productive. coffee and teh tarik both work fine! during emergencies ( like a recent 8 hour meeting i attended) red bull did the trick. i was truly surprised. first i was falling asleep in the board room, after a couple of sips, i became fresh. after a can, i was sharp and alert and quick to respond. thoughts popped up instantaneously and i delivered my points across eloquently and effectively. i'm impressed. it's $2.45 well spent.

my phone spoilt. my tiny little samsung's LCD finally gave out. sigh.

LEDs, Intel and Mood lights are different. but they all light up spaces.

loss of innocence. i was teaching this as a theme in my student's literature text from "lord of the flies". even then, the lesson didn't sink in as much as it did now, when shit has indeed hit the fence. i've learnt in a shocking manner, that humans are capable of evil, cruelty, dishonesty and deceit, just like in stories and movies. really. to that extent. and i didn't hear of it, i had to witness it. and i stand to tell the truth.
humans are truly capable of a dark side, and much as i'd still love to hold on to my personal belief that all humans are born good and are inately geared towards our better half, most give in to the dark side eventually. conscience? some people have it, i know i do. but i can no longer deny the fact that some people throw theirs away. like nights without stars, these people are vile and would feel no remorse causing distress or heartache to others.
i can no longer trust as i used to, no longer see people the same way i did. "innocent till proven guilty'"? used to be true. not anymore.

some men are MCPs. they are threatened by women who are successful and intelligent. they enjoy behaving like gorillas when in presence of other men, beating their chests and yelling loudly.

men generally have ADS. they cannot focus or concentrate beyond 10-15 min. until you put a pretty girl dressed skimply in front of their faces. they then become temporarily cured.

some awful jealous person has been bad mouthing me. i was called STUPID and SLOW and put in an unfavorable position and expect to make beef stew out of chicken. well, you're damn right it's personal. my chicks will moo. just watch me.

i didn't know about swine flu. not until yesterday. how serious is it?

there are some people who do not know how to budget. for example - company dinner for 200 persons for $10000. i pity the staff.

supper does not make one fat. it is however the most comforting meal of the day.

nuggets kept too long in the freezer will dry up. so will frozen corn.

i have a stationery fetish.

some (unattractive) people take nude pictures of themselves in the office. during office hours. how sick is that? or is that some kinda compensation mechanism?

sleep deprivation causes pimples to pop. and weight loss too.

it is possible to sleep through 45minutes of ringing alarm clocks and handphone alerts.

cut and paste does not a proposal make.

i have friends who actually read through my crazy ramblings. i love you all.
*hugs*

comfort in a bowl

in this month where everything is centered around a severe lack of time and energy, i've perfected a recipe which i recommend to anyone who wants to cook fast and in the simplest possible manner, with the least complicated ingredients, method of cooking and least amount of washing up afterwards, and yet wish to enjoy a piping hot dinner at the end of a very long day which would bring as much happiness as an entire packet of chips, but without the guilt of eating junk food and calories of sinful binging.

perfect for the tired and lazy, here's introducing my very own:
CHEESY CHICKEN SOUP
and no, this does NOT come out of a sachet if you're thinking it's instant soup.
it does not cook in a minute and does not revolve around pouring hot water onto some dried up preserved powder.
very simple every-day-ingredients are used, but you're free to add in everything and anything you like. it's a little bit of a steam boat concept. throw in all your faves and leave all the rest of the stuff out. yes it's all about you.

total preparation time is under 10minutes from beginning to end, and this is what you'd definitely need:
1. chicken stock (cube or liquid)
2. milk (powder or liquid)
3. cheese
4. a pot
5. a spoon (chopsticks/fork if you add in extra ingredients)
6. a bowl - unless you eat out of your pot, which is fine also


these are optional condiments you can do with or without. i use dried versions of everything cuz there's no way i can have fresh produce in my house. given my ridiculous schedule, they'd just end up rotting in the fridge. but for those of you who do have fresh stocks, please go ahead and chop everything up finely and add them in. how much to put depends on how you like your food. i don't like spices so i use only a little of everything.
1. pepper
2. chives
3. garlic
4. onions
5. parsley
6. chilli

the great thing about this recipe is that you get to control everything you throw in and it'd never really go wrong. so throw in whatever ingredients you feel like having in your soup that day, or whatever's in your fridge. this is what i'd suggest that's really quick and easy:
1. chicken balls
2. hot dogs
3. pasta
4. noodles
5. vegetables


so here's how it goes. get your pot out and fill it with water. dump that on the stove and get the fire going. you don't need to wait for it to boil, you can start cooking as soon as the pot is sitting snug on your stove and the fire has started. add in chicken soup appropriate for the amount of water you add, throw in condiments and optional meat items. stir. then as it starts to get hot, throw in veg and pasta/noodles (not both! they don't go well together).

as soon as it boils, turn fire down to a simmer. stir. from this point on, fire remains at a simmer. dunk in milk powder, sprinkling it in gently (it should instantly dissolve by itself). if you're using liquid milk then just use a little less water at start and pour it in stirring slowly.
after stirring, throw in as much cheese as you like and turn off the fire but keep the pot on stove just to let the heat melt the cheese without it being too hot and start curdling the milk.

and ta-da! a quick simple yet tasty dinner is ready to be served.
play around with the proportions till you get the one you like best. i recommend lotsa cheese but be careful, cheese does cause your soup to thicken.

as a side note, the milk replaces the cream used in traditional recipes. it's much healthier and more easily available and found in every house. this came from the recent trend of people using yoghurt/fresh milk to replace coconut in curries/laksas.
i recommend using chicken stock as the base cuz i think other meat bases would taste kinda wierd (imagine fish or pork with milk and cheese... nah... guess not) what i also think might possibly work is vegetable stock, but it's really up to you guys to try it out.

this same lot of ingredients can be done for a much lesser amount of water which would then thicken into a creamy pasta sauce. and yes, i'm tucking into my huge bowl as i type =)
bon appetito folks!

april showers of blessings

during this crazy month, i've had less than 5min to talk to my mother cuz i've been so crazy busy. not to mention i'm constantly working long hours, forced to wake up early everyday (after the luxury of being able to sleep in late for the past 4 years) and battling dead lines. in all of this, i've had no time to rest or do laundry or eat. sometimes i have no time to stay at home other than to shower and change and pick up stuff and head back to work. my life is all about Px & Qs - no, not please and thank yous, but proposals and quotations.
haha~ that's a good one right?

great to know i still have a sense of humour in all of this. but here's the strange thing. about a year or so ago, i've had the worry that i am a person with no sense of humour. i even blogged about it. so in this warped theory, i guess i've had quite some good news despite the constant bombing of crisis in my disaster-stricken days.

in all of it, i'm most thankful for internet chatting applications. as i'm practically glued to my lappy everywhere, and computer at work, i'm always connected. and msn and gmail facilitate my bare-minimum-communications with the rest of the world. i get to speak to friends, find out how they are, wail at them and receive instant gratifying comfort. i now have talked more with my little cousins about random things, but constantly am in touch with what's happening in their lives and this has really drawn us closer together. facebook allows me to inform the world i'm still alive and is a portal for us to share some common activities, like fish wrangling and pet society. so all in all, i've actually established more human contact.

this and the fact that i'm up 20 hours a day. so i get to catch EVERYONE. in the past, my dear especially had the least amounts of time with me. cuz she'd be up office hours and i'd be in bed till she gets back from lunch. after which i go to work and arrive home and online just before her bedtime. now i get to talk to her every morning and all thru the workday, as well as all my office-bound friends. in the evenings, i'm online when the children reach home, then my friends reach home and i chat with them till i send them off to bed with a cheerie good nite. call me crazy, but i'm really happy about that. the long hours also allow me to chat with EH in the office then later at home, cuz she's a night bird. and yes, i get to do ALL of that. perks of never sleeping.

and as toppings, although i'm sure i've aged a lot (physically, mentally and emotionally), i've grown wiser and more discriminating. i've learnt to do many things that people take much longer time and much more training to accomplish. i've become more confident of myself and hence trust myself a lot more with my ability of analysis and perception. i've gained courage to face up to many things and despite my (rather frequent) breakdowns, i've learnt to dig deeper than ever, within myself, to draw strength like never before.

i've become aware that 'impossible' stamps boundaries we draw for ourselves. in this month alone, i've proven to myself countless times that what i never thought was possible could all be achieved. and yes, you can do whatever you set your mind to. it really is true. it's hard, i won't deny that. and many a times, it seems truly hopeless and bleak. yet when one is determined enough, doubts are replaced with faith and fear with hope. and somehow, trudging on indefinitely doesn't seem as bad when you only focus on the light at the end of the tunnel and stop worrying about everything else in between.

and the final, littlest but happiest bit of this all? i lost weight and can wear everything in my wardrobe again. yay! =)

most important day

the most important day in the month of april is the first.
not because it was the day the month started.
but because it was my dear's birthday!

so here's publishing my well wishes for my dear dear and wishing her a really wonderful year ahead, with good health, much happiness and great success.
i'm sorry we haven't had the chance to meet up yet, but we shall i promise! it's not because i don't prioritize you, but it's really a bad patch now and somethings are just simply impossible.
*big hugs*
thank you for understanding!

april update

April has flown by before i even knew it, and we've stepped into May without me realising how quickly and how much has happened in this 30day month. today, a friend commented that i haven't been blogging, and it's true. it's not that nothing much has happened, hence nothing to blog about. rather, too much has happened, and i've not had much time nor energy to blog. and due to the fact that i've been busy 20hours a day, being sleep and food deprived, and having to do a million things all at once, upkeeping my blog seemed nowhere on my super long to-do-list, in my non-existant life-of-my-own.

only my closest friends have the slightest idea as to what is happening with me right now. and it is at moments like this that i thank god that msn was invented. if not, i'd have no friends at all. but having said that, time with them is still really limited and i've ended up with no outlet at all. and the people around me who are aware, cuz basically we're in the same shit, are unable to do what i do, hence are either incapable or not bothering to understand my predicament and i'm left frustrated and emotionally-starved of affection.

sometimes i feel that the old saying that misfortunes come in packs is so true. i'm amazed at the amount of bad news we've received in this month alone. and the scale of crisis situations needed to solve. and the amount of shit we're expected to clear. and yet, drained as i am, i'm in a twisted way proud to say "i'm still alive!" i've done things i never thought i could do. i've superceded all expectations and continue to surprise myself daily. well yes it's disheartening to be in such a mess, but it's also kinda a confidence builder to be able to climb out of this shit hole.

i've learnt a lot about myself and those around me. in "the little princess", there was a moment when she was most down and so trodden, and she confessed to a friend that "adversity tries people" - yes it's awful to see the really ugly side of human nature, and it shocks me how vile humans can really be. but yet in times of such disaster, i learnt to be thankful and aware of those around that steadfast, loyal and true. perhaps we need to really appreciate them a lot more. even little candles put together can form a pretty strong ray of hope and shoot forth a beam of light enough to brighten the darkest hours.

so tonite, i shall put together a series of random blogs, all inspired by this wonderfully tragic month of april. happy reading folks!~